Year of Frith

The Asatru Community has declared that 2020 is The Year of Frith. As a representative of TAC, I have decided to embrace this and delve into what frith truly means. Suffice to say there are almost as many opinions as to what frith means as there are people trying to explain it. There is not an easy way to describe the full concept – there is not a single word that conveys the message of frith. It seems that frith is some combination of peace, love, security, joy, delight, gentleness, loyalty, trust, affection, reciprocity, and mutual selflessness. None of those words fully express the meaning…they have to come together to be frith. Some may see this and say…nope that’s completely wrong and some will agree. Such is modern Heathenry.

One word that I think comes closest to defining frith in one word is interdependence. Interdependence recognizes that I cannot do the things alone, that you cannot do the things alone, but together we can do the things. It is not I, and it is not YOU, it is WE. Frith is synergy; the whole is greater than the sum of the individual parts.

Frith is an active aspect of life. It must be maintained and nurtured; we have to be intentional in keeping the frith. This means that it is not unconditional love, frith can be broken, and isn’t given freely. We have to work on our frithships not take them for granted. You are not owed frith, you earn frith. You earn it by giving it. This doesn’t mean everyone should be given frith. It begins by coming together and finding the commonalities that unite you with the others. Frith isn’t given to those who harm those you have frith with.

In the ancient times we are told that frith was something that was found only among closely connected people, by blood and marriage typically (insert obligatory inner/outer yard discussion). That may have been true way back in the way back, but today frith has evolved. I don’t mean just the word has come to mean something different, I mean that how we see the connections has evolved. We no longer have to rely on our family for survival. We can, and should, exit any toxic relationship. The idea that we have to defend our family no matter what they have done – to us or in general – is no longer valid. Society today has more resources and family is no longer the sole provider of safety. This isn’t a dig on the family unit. I truly believe that we must do what can be done to repair and support the family connection; family should be a strong and healthy foundation in life.

However, we are not trapped in a relationship that is not fixable. In those ancient times frith was inviolable, to break frith was among the very worst crimes one could commit. We can look to the sagas – Gudrun’s brothers killed her husband. She truly loved that man, but she could not avenge him because the frith bond of family would not allow her harm her brothers. We are not in those times. Frith means something different now.

While researching I came across a blogsite that I think has come up with a great summation of what frith looks like in our modern times. The Longship defines frith: “A mutual agreement to avoid causing each other physical, emotional, and mental harm; and to avoid negatively affecting each other’s honor, worth, and luck.”

Contemplating Naudiz

On November 4, 2019 my daily rune draw was Naudiz, reversed. The message I was given is:

“Today think about how necessity has shaped your life. Was there a time when you did something because you absolutely had to? Also, think of times you came to endings in your life because you were blocked or restricted.

What have you learned about limitations and necessity from these experiences? How can you use that wisdom now?”

Let me start this by saying that everything I do, and have done, is by choice. Before you start with the whataboutisms, I will acquiesce to the inability of children to truly make choices. There are two things that a person has no choice in – birth and death. Aside from things everything is a choice. I have not always seen the choice in the matter and some choices are made based on not wanting the alternative more than not wanting the choice I make, but the choice is mine none the less. For example, I go to work because I do not want the life that I would have if I did not get the rewards from choosing to work. I want to provide for myself and my family. I have not always made the best choices in this aspect of my life, but I have made the best of the choices I have made.

Some choices I have made without understanding the consequences until much later. Some choices were made without even considering the consequences – like those made in anger. The choice was still made, and it absolutely was a choice. Choices are not always made consciously, though it is typically better when they are. Understanding that I always have two choices in every situation is empowering. The two choices are always between doing or not doing something. There are elements that determine which is the right choice, but I must remember that all situations can be broken down to one of those two choices. It is also important to not get discouraged when I do make a wrong choice. Choices can only be made by considering the available information, the known factors of any situation.

Choices in life are finite. There is only a certain amount of choices I will be have my lifetime. The Norns weave the fabric and the choices are presented. Once a choice is made it can not be unmade and all the options for that choice are also consumed. There is not a possible way to go back and make the other choices again. There may come a time when a similar choice will be presented, but it is not the same as it was the first time.

There will come a day when the choices run out; when I make my last choice. That day, place, and time is set. It cannot be changed; it is not a choice I can make or even affect. Well, that is not exactly true. I can affect the day/place/time my life ends by the choices I make through out my life. There is a number of possible ends but with each choice I make the possible endings are eliminated until only one remains.

So, life is pointless and there is no purpose, right? Wrong. The purpose of life in this realm, this existence, is to increase our hamingja, our ancestral luck or fortune. I can not not live my values. Whatever I do, what I spend time on, are my values. What I can choose is what those values are. I can define the values I want to live.

I have never done anything out of necessity, though some choices I have made have been necessary.

Honor

“Respect is what you give to others. Honor is what you give to yourself” – Being Caballero

 

Respect is for others, but it is also for yourself. Honor is respecting yourself; showing yourself respect by living your values. Honor is also how we respect those who gave us what we have – life. We respect the ancestors by living with honor.

Honor can be very subjective and can be defined in so many ways. Not everyone will see honor in my way, nor will I see honor is the same way as others. Honor is an internally regulated code of behavior. We are judged by the accepted code the culture or society that we live in. Reputation is how those around us measure their opinion of our honor. We have little control of our reputation; we can only control how we live. If we live with honor our reputation should take care of itself.

That said, if my reputation is not something I am proud of I need to step back and re-access my behavior. Do I live my honor code? Are my values inline with societal values? Are societal values worthy of my adopting? If the societal values I am being judged by are not worthy of my adopting, then I need to understand this and live my truth. I do not need to worry about those values. If the values I am judged by are worthy and I am not proud of my reputation in that culture there are three reasons; three things that I can look at.

• I am not living or behaving honorably
• Someone is intentionally trying to harm my reputation
• I am using the incorrect metric to measure my honor

There is little I can do about someone intentionally trying to harm my reputation. I can not control what they do. I can only live my truth and behave with honor. If my reputation is not repaired or sustained by my living my truth, then I am likely not living within the correct culture. That is something I can control. I can change the culture I am living in. I can do this by either influencing a change in the surrounding culture or removing myself to a place where the culture is more in line with my truth.